He'll Be OK

Over the last couple of days I have been avidly reading He'll Be OK: Growing Gorgeous Boys Into Good Men by Celia Lashlie. I have been wanting to read this book since I listened to Celia Lashlie speak at a school conference.

Lashlie became the first female prison officer in a male prison in 1985. She has also written another book called Journey to Prison (which I am hoping to find in the library this afternoon). In this book Lashlie made the now-famous statement: ′There is a blond, angelic-faced five-year-old sitting in a classroom in New Zealand and he is coming to prison . . . On his way, he will probably kill someone.′ Not only did this statement bring her to the attention of the public at large, it also lost her her job.

In He'll Be OK, Lashlie writes as she speaks...it is very easy to imagine her speaking to you as you read along...she has an easy, funny, honest and no-nonsense attitude to her writing. While she makes it clear she is no expert, she does have a lot of experience with boys - during her days as a prison officer, years of research involving discussions with school boys from 25 boys schools throughout the country, and she has raised a boy herself.

According to Lashlie (and I would have to agree) the best thing a mother can do for her teenager son is to...back off! This is the time for the father to step in, and if there is no father, then the nearest male role-model. Lashlie outlines the differences between female parenting to that of male parenting. When I listened to her speak at a conference, I can always remember a story she told: during the school lunch time a young boy fell out of a tree and broke his arm. The female duty teacher wanted the tree cut down so it wouldn't happen again, and the male duty teacher said to the boy "you won't do that again, will you?". I think this rings so true! I do admit though, that not ALL female teachers (or mothers) carry on in this way, however. Lashlie tells many sotries like this in her book. Another advocate for boys education, Norm Hewitt (ex All-Black) has written of Lashlie's book: Celia doesn't tell men how to raise their boys...instead she provided tools for parents who want their sons to become good men. She is a significant asset to this country and personal inspiration.

Off to the library to find more books to read!